I can’t begin to count the times someone has asked how I ever get time to myself as a homeschool mother who has 7 children. There are many responses I would love to give to this question, including the fact that ‘me time’ is overrated. However, many of the women who ask this want a bit more practical help. So here is my two part answer, which includes spiritual and practical help.
Part 1: Give it up.
We live in a culture that places so much emphasis on self. Sure, it would be nice to have time all to myself on a regular basis, and sometimes I am able to have that. But I learned several children ago that God asks me to give up my so-called rights and accept His plans for me, which often involve sacrifice of those very selfish desires. It may be the desire for sleep, or a clean house, or time to my self. It may be something else all together.
God calls us to lay down our self
and follow the example of Christ.
Yes, Jesus sought out time away from the masses, but that was time to be with God. Jesus knew the way to find refreshment for our souls is not time to do what we want, it is time to seek God and feel of His spirit. I have learned that I get more energy and refreshment when I spend time in my scriptures or pondering the things of eternity than I do just from time spent by myself.
Part 2: Institute Daily Quiet Time
Here’s the practical half of my advice. We all need slower moments in the day, quiet moments where we and our children can hear the Spirit and rest. We can read our scriptures, listen to uplifting music, or just be completely quiet. We can even use some of that time to read a fun book, read an uplifting blog, or do a project. 
In our home quiet time happens almost every day at 1:00pm. Those young enough to nap, do so. 
The children go to their bed or another spot and begin this time with books to look at. Mommy begins this time in her scriptures. After that I may nap, hop on the computer, or do any number of things, but I always try to begin my time with God.
Sometimes a little one doesn’t nap. God dictates the priority of pouring in extra love to a child and sacrificing my self. It is a process that I used to resent. I was still hung up on my time, my rights. God has been diligent to give me practice at releasing my will and accepting his plans. 
The children who don’t nap anymore eventually gravitate to spending one on one time with a sibling after they’ve had their initial quiet time in bed. All the pictures in this post are from today. The sleeping little ones. The chess playing girls. The sons reading a book together about Lego creations. 
About and hour and a half after it begins my children come downstairs again and we start back in on our day. The napping little ones may sleep longer. But we’re all refreshed and ready for our afternoon together.
Do you ever struggle with the sacrifice of time that is inherent in motherhood? Do you have quiet time in your family?
11 comments:
Thank you so much for this. I have been struggling since the birth of my last one (who is 5 months) with finding time "for me." I am coming to realize, slowly, that what you said about giving it up is so true. The scripture that keeps coming to mind for me is the one that says something like "He who looses his life, finds it." Thanks for sharing how you do it. I love your family!
Heather - I know what you mean! It took me several children before I really made it through my first big "ah-ha" on this, and even now I need reminders.
I loved all the pictures. It made me feel like I got to spend quiet time with you guys. Seeing some of the kids doing activities together is precious. Developing that relationship is one of the most important things they will do in this life. I also loved your comments about me time. I know it's true because all I hear from older women that are now through it, is how much they miss it and how we shouldn't worry about the business of it all, it goes away way to fast and then all we will want is to have it back.
Jen
Tristan
This was a beautiful post. When we first started HS-ing 3 years ago, I was really stuck on the "Me Time" as well. As we have gone on this journey through HS-ing I have come to realize that my children are my joy. Everything else is just an added joy. "Me time" has taken on much the same look as yours, spiritual uplifts, time for me on the computer, or even just a little break with a book.
Simple? Yes, but such a hard lesson to learn.
I loved this one. I did the same thing when raising my 6 children. We had quiet time and it was just enough time to refresh myself and read scriptures, pray or read a good book.
We don't have a quiet time so much anymore. I haven't been able to fit that into homeschooling teenagers. But, I agree on the me time being over-rated and often over-done. For me, I never really thought much about me when I first had children. As long as I took the time for scriptures and shower and some sort of exercise, I have been good. I used to expect that the me stuff would come later, but as I get older, I realize that life really isn't about "me" it is about "what can I do to help". I hope to be the old lady out helping and serving, as long as I get my three important things in:shower, scripture, exercise, I am good.
I love this! Especially that you named #1: "Give it Up." LOL! It's so VERY true.
We have such a short time with our children, and the potential we have to influence them is extremely precious. We'll have "me time" for many a year to come!
I also have found keeping "Quiet Time" an impossible thing now that my oldest kids are in their teens. But when they were little, it was a life-saver! Little ones are busy tiny tornados, and it's good for them AND mom.
Great post, Tristan!
Wanting Me time is a constant struggle. I do not "need" nearly as much as I did 17 years ago, but it still creeps in my selfish desires. I will continue to seek my Heavenly Father's will with this.
I love this! Thanks for sharing. I am learning little by little that it is more about them and less and less about me, as I have three little ones under 4!
Thank you for your thoughts, this was a wonderful thing for me to read today! You have a really cute blog here:)
This is something I've struggled with, especially as an only child that is now mother to three children. Sometimes I'm just on sensory overload and need a moment to calm my physical and mental self so I can get back to being present with my children. I'm grateful for quiet time and that I can trust my older ones while I sleep. That helps so much.
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